


Dance of the stuckyplum ficlets

by Yokogreyword



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Demisexual Bucky Barnes, Do I need to tag everyone mentioned in ch. 5?, Ficlet, Gen, Light Angst, M/M, Origin Story, Pining Bucky Barnes, Valentine's Day, mild disassociation, plush toys, winter soldier recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-06 00:15:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16377788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yokogreyword/pseuds/Yokogreyword
Summary: A collection of stucky and stucky-adjacent fics and ficlets. Most are rough one-shots and unpolished ideas.If anyone wants to help me beta these into submission,PLEASE message me on tumblr!!Tags are added as new chapters are put up.Please take the time to leave a comment. It's my only motivator to keep going at all.





	1. The first Bucky Bear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first Bucky Bear belonged to Steve.

When he was very little, Sarah Rogers gave Steve a plush bear to take with him the very first time he had to stay overnight in the hospital without her.  
Since then, the bear would keep him company every night.

  
Since Steve was so very small, the bear was practically the same size as him. Steve loved that bear and named him "Bucky", which was a good name for a large stuffed bear.  
  
Bucky had short brown fur, since he was sewn from a velvetty fabric; and two bright button eyes, and a nose made from soft leather. In the winter, Steve would hold Bucky bear close and lamented to his mother that Bucky was cold without a jacket. So his Ma made the bear a smart little coat out of blue felt for Christmas one year. He wore that coat practically year-round, though Steve did put it away in the summer when it got hot.  
  
Bucky bear was Steve's only friend as a child. He was tiny, sickly, and asthmatic. He had a funny accent on account of his ma being Irish. And he stayed indoors a lot due to his varioys ailments. None of those things lent were very ideal for making friends. Combined as they were, Steve was practically a shut-in.  
  
Often times Sarah would catch him praying before bed that Bucky Bear could become a real live person, so he'd have a living friend to play with.  
  
And then, in 1928 he met one James B. Barnes.  
"Name's James, but I don't much care for it."  
"Why don't you go by Jim then?"  
"There's already a hundred Jims in the neighborhood."  
"What about your middle name?"  
"No good. It's Buchanan."  
Little Steve got a flash of inspirationat that, "You could go by Bucky!"  
"Bucky?"  
"Yeah! There probably aren't many buckys around here!"  
"Don't reckon there's any. But why Bucky?"  
"It could be short for Buchanan."  
"Ok Steve! Call me bucky."  
  
Bucky was 13 when he spied the worn little stuffed bear in Steve's room and Steve told him about his only friend when he was little.  
  
Steve didn't mention the bear by name. Until he got annoyed and self-conscious about the continued questions and snapped at him to give back Bucky Bear.

He immediately covered his mouth in shock as Buck got a sly grin and teased him about it.  
"Knock it off, Bucky!"  
"Are you talking to ME, or the stuffed animal?"  
"You're going to BE a stuffed animal, if you keep this up!"


	2. My funny valentine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky makes a valentine card for Steve.

Little bitty Bucky is determinedly making a valentine for little Steeb because he never gets any in class. Bucky always offers some of his, but Steve won't take them. So this year, Bucky's making one for him. But it has to look really nice, not like the person made it out of pity or obligation. He can't sign his name to it, because Steve will think he's teasing him or doing it cause he feels bad for Steve. 

It's kind of messy, but it's the best he can do. And Bucky's proud of it. He agonizes over what to write on it before going with  
"Steve" in his best handwriting on the front and  
"I think you're swell, you're really fine. won't you be my valentine?" On the back. 

He sneakily slips it into Steve's book before class and feels really good about it. When Steve finds it, he tells him he must have a secret admirer. 

Unfortunately, Steve can recognize Bucky's handwriting and he gets really upset that Bucky thinks that he needs to make up a secret admirer to make Steve feel better. And instead of telling buck that he knows, he critisizes the whole thing. "She can't be that interested if she didn't want to sign her name, must be emberassed. Anyway, he couldn't be interested in a girl with no artistic skills, right?"

He thinks he's trying to diffuse the situation with humor, but really he's just trying to hurt Bucky's feelings; because it hurt his feelings that Bucky thinks he has to do this. That Bucky knows he's not going to get any real valentines. And that really hurts his pride.   
So he tells him that they're dumb and any girl who gave him one would have to be dumb, too.

Bucky goes home at lunch and just cries harder than he's ever cried before and he's not sure why. 

He lies the next day and says that he had felt sick at lunch, but he still has to stay after and clap erasers. He and Steve don't talk about it.

Years later, he makes Steve another valentine. He saves pennies for months and turns in bottles for change to buy some lace and he keeps some pretty paper scraps from Christmas and he makes the nicest damned valentine he possibly can. He addresses it to Steve in his considerably improved penmanship and spends all night thinking of what to write on the back.  
"My sweet and fiery valentine, I love you. Won't you please be mine?" Though his face is burning just writing that, and his stomach is flipping like he's on a roller coaster. Especially remembering how badly Steve broke his heart the last time he did this. 

But he didn't know then what he knows now; he didn't realize what his feelings were. He didn't notice he was handing Steve his heart until Steve broke it.  
This time would be different. 

So he snuck the valentine into Steve's desk before class. When Steve found it, he was annoyed until he read the back. Then he was FURIOUS. He glared daggers at Bucky and refused to talk to him at all when Bucky tried to talk to him between periods.

Bucky whistled, "Real fancy card there, Steve. Looks like somebody likes you! Is there a name on it?" 

No reply

"Wonder if it's the same girl from fourth grade? Too bad you didn't keep the last one, we could look at the handwriting. Be a couple of regular sleuths."  
He would have jostled Steve, but he turned to look at Bucky with so much contempt that he kept his hands to himself. He'd figured Steve would be like that. Fine. But he was going to tell him the only way he could right now. 

"I wonder why it took her so long to give you another one? D'ya think maybe she heard you talking bad about the first one?"  
Steve took a breath to say something and Bucky talked over him.

"I'll bet that's it. I'll bet that poor gal put her whole heart into making that card for you, and you just tore it to pieces. I'll bet she went home and cried her eyes out about it." He had to look away from Steve and take a deep breath to keep his voice steady.

"It probably took her all these years to get up the nerve to try again. Poor thing."  
He looked at the card and swallowed heavily.

"Sounds like she still really likes you, though." He said, quietly. "Even more than before."

"You haven't even read it." Steve murmured.

"No. I haven't." Bucky agreed, finally looking back at Steve before getting up and moving back to his desk.


	3. Forgive me my sins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky had never been attracted to men carnally before. But that changed after Steve came rushing in to drag him out of hell...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to write this fic where Bucky is demisexual and develops deeper feelings for Steve after he came and got him out of the Hydra factory. But he doesn't realize that’s what's going on, since they didn't have the concept back then; so he thinks he's just getting feelings for Steve because Steve's ripped now.
> 
> The finished fic was going to include a lot of entries from Bucky's journals after TWS, trying to figure out what the hell had been going on between him and Steve.

He felt like the biggest asshole in the US army, and that was saying something, with the stiff competition he was getting just from the Howling Commandos alone.

Bucky was a jerk. He knew that. He had to be. It was awful and shallow and disgusting. But ever since Steve had busted into that HYDRA prison and rescued him, he couldn’t stop looking at him. Wanting him in ways he'd never wanted him before. And he hated himself for it.

He'd never been attracted to men. He knew Steve was. Or at least he could tell that Steve was attracted to HIM, but he just hadn't felt the same way. They didn't talk about it, but it always hurt to see Steve look at him like that and know that he couldn't give the kid the one thing that would make him happiest.   
Steve dealt with the heartache the same way he dealt with all the rest of his shit luck, he squared his jaw and kept going. So Bucky made it his mission in life to find that one gal who'd make Steve happy the way he couldn't. Turns out she'd been in England the whole time, no wonder their double-dates had only ended in more hurt for Steve.

Cause the thing is: he DID love Steve. He loved him like crazy. He'd go to the moon and back for the kid. He'd even walk barefoot to JERSEY for Steve. He was like the brother Bucky'd always wanted, getting nothing but sister after sister.   
They’d grown up together, and Bucky honestly looked at Steve like he was family. He was too close for it to feel like anything other than kissing his sibling. He'd apologized like crazy the one time they'd tried kissing.   
He wanted to make Steve happy more than anything in the world. But you can't force yourself to be attracted to someone, even if you love them more than life. It's either there or it's not. Bucky just wasn't attracted to men.

So **why** was he drooling over Steve's new body? He'd gone from a scrawny punk to a prime cut of all-American beef and suddenly Bucky wanted to do things to him that would earn them BOTH a dishonorable discharge.  
He felt like a heel, that looks should make THAT MUCH difference to him. Steve was still Steve. He was still a loud-mouthed punk who didn't know when to back down from a fight. Nothing inside had changed. He was still the man Bucky had loved like a BROTHER nearly his whole life. And it made him sick, how looking at Steve now got his engine revving.  
Why couldn't he have felt like this earlier, when they maybe could've had some time? All those nights when it was just the two of them curled up together in that little rat-hole of an apartment. If he could've returned Steve's feelings back then...

He didn't deserve Steve, plain and simple. If he couldn't be attracted to him when he was a shrimp, then he had no right to want him now when everyone else did.


	4. Parameters: top secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Portions of the Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes's journals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be the follow-up to the last chapter where Bucky doesn't realize he's demisexual.
> 
> I want him to figure it out EVENTUALLY, but he's gotta actually talk to people first.
> 
> I may not finish this just because, of the two, I'm definitely a Steve and not a Bucky. So I don't really know how to get into his head; as much as I would like to.
> 
> \--- means a pause in the writing. Bucky stopped to get a snack or something.
> 
> \---* denotes a page break. New day, new page.

Parameters: don't tell Steve. Reasons for this designation unclear. Top importance. Steve cannot obtain this information. 

\---*  
Bucky needed Steve to be there, within reach. When he woke up with blood in his mouth, having bitten his tongue trying not to scream in his nightmare. Babbling his name and rank as he shivered from a cold sweat. He needed Steve to be close enough to roll over and wrap those big arms around him and make it ok again.  
\---  
Steve doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve how I treated him. He doesn't deserve me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated like this.  
\---  
Why is it  
Why mission parameters: don't tell Steve?  
It was important. Why?  
He wanted Steve (I wanted?) but was not supposed to tell him. Was not allowed (who set the parameters?)  
\---  
Stop thinking about Steve's body like that. His big strong arms. Steve can have anybody now, he deserves someone better. He has a girl. Girls pay attention to him now. Let him have that.  
\---  
He's too good for you.  
(True, but why? Steve is a good man. The soldier is not a good man. Was Bucky not a good man either? Have I never been good?)

\----*  
Conclusions:  
Bucky wanted Steve.  
Bucky was not allowed to tell Steve  (would not allow himself to tell Steve?)  
Steve was beautiful.  (True. Target: Steve Rogers is very attractive)  
Bucky was not a good man.  
Steve was a good man.  
Bucky wanted Steve to save him.  
Steve was in love with someone else now.

\------*  
Steve used to be in love with Bucky.  
\---  
Steve used to be in love with ~~Bucky.~~ **ME**  
\---  
Why? What happened? Steve was in love with ~~Bu~~ me, but he was in love with someone else.  
~~He~~ I (Bucky is me. I am Bucky. I am  BUCKY.) was not allowed to tell Steve I wanted him.  
But if Steve was in love with me, then why would I give myself the mission to withhold information:I love you need you want you Steve, From him??  
\----  
Was Steve in love with me? The little one kissed me but I didn't kiss him back?  
Was the little one Steve?

\----*  
I broke the little one's heart.

\---*  
I remember wanting to be in Steve’s arms. It felt ... comforting? I wanted comfort. I wanted Steve. Steve was home. I remember being curled up near a fire, not Steve. Trying so hard not to tell him I needed him.  
Why?  
1\. Didn't want to hurt him? (Hurt him how?)  
2\. It wasn't allowed. They told me they would hurt him. They told me he was dead. Couldn't call for Steve. Didn't want them to know about him. The smiling German ~~cutti~~ [lines after this have been heavily scribbled out]  
\---  
I still want Steve to hold me.  
What would that be like?  
\- constraint  
\- comfort  
\- warm  
\- stifling  
\- trapped  
\- soft  
\- peaceful  
\- anxiety  
\-  home?

\---*


	5. Dramatis Personae

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a wireframe for a story I wanted to write.

Tony- Anthony of the house of Stark. Wizard and son of a wizard. Works with living steel. (The suit is a golem)  
Sets off to make a name for himself beyond his father. Goes to fix the cursed woods. 

Steve- the cursed woods. Years ago he stood up to a powerful wizard called il rosso teschio who cursed him. He was turned into a tree in the process of defeating the wizard. Originally a sickly little sapling, he's sent out shoots to broaden his senses. Now he's a large tree in the center of a grove that's technically part of him. So he's massive. 

Bucky- protector and keeper of the forest. He distrusts Tony because he's not the first wizard whose tried to break the curse. 70 years ago another convinced Bucky he could restore Steve. He took Bucky's left arm as a down payment on the spell, and made him sign a contract to be his zonbi for 100 years; after which time, his memory would return, he would awaken free from his servitude and Steve would be returned to life.   
(It was a lie. He never intended to free Bucky)  
30 years before the deadline was up, the wizard got himself killed in a battle with a whole coven of witches. 

Fury- the one-eyed witch. Leader of the coven that killed the wizard who enslaved Bucky. 

Natasha- Natalia the Red. Witch of the coven who killed the wizard.

Clint- a hawk that fell in love with Natalia the Red. She turned him into a person,  but he's not very good at it. 

Sam- a Falcon who lives in Steve’s branches and gives Bucky a hard time. A friend to Steve even in this state. 

Thor- literally nothing has changed. He's still the god of thunder. But in this version he rides his chariot pulled by goats instead of using Mjölnir to fly. 

Bruce- a sorceror who tried breaking Steve's curse, but it backfired onto him. He now has a bestial green were-form that he barely controls. He lives in the forest away from humans he can hurt and spars with gods when he gets angry. 

Extras**  
Peggy- Sir Margaret Carter was a knight. She recieved her knighthood after fighting in the mob Steve raised to go stand up to Il Rosso Teschio. By all accounts she was quite the flower of chivalry even into her twilight years.

Sharon- heir to the Carter family. A commoner who was found to be descendent from the house of Carter. She now runs the estate. 

Phillips- king Phillip the 1st

Coulson- king Phillip the 2nd

Jarvis- a golem. A sentient suit of armor painted a smart red and gold scheme. 

Notes***  
The king (king Phillip 1)knighted all the members who took down il rosso teschio (the howlies) except Bucky and Steve who were believed to be dead. 

Bucky regained some memories when the wizard was killed, and he was jolted from his sleep-walking, undying, unaging existence. But most of them are gone.   
He knows the forest is important, and that he needs to tend to it and protect it, but not his given name or much of his past.   
He remembers the deal he made.   
He remembers the coven members, like they're familiar, but he doesn't know where he's seen them before. Fury is dark and scary. Nat is graceful, so maybe she was a dancer?

Bucky has only one arm. He uses a crossbow to keep people out. They call him a woodcutter, but he really just collects the branches Steve drops. (Damn punk never COULD clean up after himself...)

Tony offers to make him an arm of living metal if he wants to have two again, but Bucky’s wary of all magic users by now. 

Bucky gives Sam a hard time about living in a tree. Aren't falcons supposed to live on top of cliffs? What are you, some kind of loser bird?

Sam dive-bombs Bucky, screeches at first light outside his hut, and drops stuff on him.   
But he's also brought Bucky dead things when Steve thinks Bucky's not eating good enough.


	6. Captain American Eagle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buddy, everyone knows captain America is black!

Sam Wilson, pilot in the Tuskegee airmen. Got an experimental flight suit from Stark after his daring rescue to prove himself.  
Riley is Bucky.  
Peggy is Peggy.

Did air shows to raise morale & sell war bonds before his daring rescue. Was called The American Eagle.  
The Howlies joked that he was "Captain American Eagle to you!" After a few field promotions.

The Red Skull is a nazi. And if there's one thing  the Berlin olympics taught us it's that nazis hate getting their asses kicked by black American guys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I came up with a bunch of genderswap fics that I want to mash together. So this was going to be another universe that the main characters go to.


End file.
